Golden Rules of Farming. - Part 2

To continue on.....

#26. The neighbour will always have better crop yields / sale price / lambing percentages. Unless it's a drought. Then he'll have worse crop yields / sale price / lambing percentages.

#27. An old ewe that has happily walked five kilometres in the muster will sit down and sulk fifty metres from the gate.

#28. A human being / ute / motorbike or tractor looks exactly the same as it's mother to a new born lamb.

#29. A new born lamb chasing after what it thinks is it's mother is exceptionally fast.

#30. Beware the calf playing doggo in long grass, for you will break your neck.

#31. After not seeing a living soul for weeks, visitors will turn up the one time you walk naked to the clothesline. (Thank you to Bernadette )

#32 Warranty expires 3 weeks before something breaks.

#33. Never underestimate the drought breaking properties of cutting hay.

#34. When filling the chaser bin for the first time, make sure all clean out doors are closed prior to filling. A 2km long sheep feed trail is never approved of.

#35. Hay string is an approved building product.

#36. Footrot Flats is not a comic strip. It is a How-To Manual.

#37. The time taken for a dropped windmill column to hit the bottom of the well / bore is exactly the same time it takes to use every expletive under the sun.

#38. Sump oil breeds.

#39. Anti-sieze is illegal in machinery assembly factories.

#40. Beware the left hand threaded wheel nut, for you will look like a fool otherwise.

#41. Dorper lambs could not be contained with a chain wire fence and a security guard. They are the epitome of "Free Range."

#42. The chances of seeing a wild dog doubles if you leave your rifle home.

#43. Everything breaks the day you drive out the gate on holidays. (Thank you Glenda.)

#44. A slightly crooked new fence will hold stock just as well as a dead straight one. It is not worth your marriage.

#45. The distance your ute runs out of fuel or gets bogged from home is directly related to the weather conditions and what shoes you are wearing.

#46. Beware the horse with twitchy ears.

#47. When assisting the lovely young female vet milking stud stock, keep your mouth shut and politely look the other way.

#48. Roo shooting is not considered a romantic night out.

#49. Boomspray foam markers were designed by a sadistic bastard who took great delight in pefecting the art of developing foam that evaporates by the time you arrive at the next lap of the paddock.

#50. When using an auto steer guidance system at night, first ensure the headland alarm is loud enough to wake you. Nobody appreciates a seeding run through two creeks, four paddocks and a main road, no matter how straight it is.