Golden Rules of Farming. Part 3

#51. The motor that will not start for your wife after hours of trying starts first time when you try. And it's your fault.

#52. The distance a loose lamb squirts while in the marking cradle is proportional to how wide your mouth is open.

#53. Dogs with thousands of acres to roam crap on the lawn.

#54. Stockies can be covered from head to toe in dust, mud, blood, shit and piss, but one drop of hydraulic oil and they lose their freakin' minds.

#55. It is poor form to offer your wife welding gloves after you have given her third degree burns.

Substitute

The following is my summation of the basic arguments against Live Export. This short spiel could appear on any of the Ban Live Export Pages and it wouldn't appear any different to anything else posted there.

Every year thousands of animals die and countless more are injured thanks to the live export industry. This is despite millions of dollars being spent on education and training, along with improved infrastructure. The Australian public has had enough. There is only one solution, and that is to bring an end to the live export industry. There is no need for it. Australia has an excellent meat processing industry, and any areas lacking meat processing can easily have new abattoirs built. And the people involved in the live export industry will learn to adapt. They can become meat workers or packers in the new larger meat processing industry. As for the argument that Australia banning live export won't have an effect on the rest of the world, we need to lead by example. Think of the benefits in increased local jobs, decreased pollution and at least our animals won't be dying horrible deaths. People who aren't willing to accept this as the best solution are stuck in the past. They are only worried about themselves and the impact this solution has on them.

Sounds convincing to the average punter, doesn't it. But what happens if I change just a few words here and there to make the argument become a little more personal?

Every year thousands of people die and countless more are injured thanks to the car industry. This is despite millions of dollars being spent on education and training, along with improved infrastructure. The Australian public has had enough. There is only one solution, and that is to bring an end to the car industry. There is no need for it. Australia has an excellent public transport industry, and any areas lacking public transport can easily have new stations built. And the people involved in the car industry will learn to adapt. They can become bus drivers or train drivers in the new larger public transport industry. As for the argument that Australia banning cars won't have an effect on the rest of the world, we need to lead by example. Think of the benefits in increased local jobs, decreased pollution and at least our people won't be dying horrible deaths. People who aren't willing to accept this as the best solution are stuck in the past. They are only worried about themselves and the impact this solution has on them.

I'd be laughed out of cyberspace wouldn't I?

Golden Rules of Farming. - Part 2

To continue on.....

#26. The neighbour will always have better crop yields / sale price / lambing percentages. Unless it's a drought. Then he'll have worse crop yields / sale price / lambing percentages.

#27. An old ewe that has happily walked five kilometres in the muster will sit down and sulk fifty metres from the gate.

#28. A human being / ute / motorbike or tractor looks exactly the same as it's mother to a new born lamb.

#29. A new born lamb chasing after what it thinks is it's mother is exceptionally fast.

#30. Beware the calf playing doggo in long grass, for you will break your neck.

Sometimes even no clouds has a silver lining. Part 1.

It's funny how we end up where we are in life. If you had told me ten years ago I'd be full time farming, operate a  20 000 head sheep depot, be part of owning a 670 000 acre pastoral station near Yalgoo, have 12000 sheep and decide that big tractors and burning diesel wasn't for me,  I would have politely nodded while speed dialing directory assistance for the nearest looney bin.

 Ten years ago I had just started a real job. Got a trade, as every farmers son was advised to do back then. So I did. I was halfway through a Building Design and Drafting (with a pen, not a gate) TAFE course when I got offered a job with a local crayboat builder as a drafty. Not knowing anything about boats except that they make me feel crook and catch bugger all fish, I spent three enjoyable and educational years there until I got sick of being in an office. So we went back farming.

Hay Paddock, 11th  June. It had been in for nearly 6 weeks.

Gemma had moved up here by then onto her little home block, 540 acres of lovely country. She looked after her damara stud and managed another farm in Chapman Valley, while I worked on another. In 2005 her mother and father decided to get back into farming and the four of us went into partnership and bought our second farm the other side of Walkaway. We settled in June and it was a mad rush to scratch a bit of crop in to tidy the place up and sort out what little fencing was on the joint.

2006. The new farm was coming along nicely. We had been dabbling in contract feeding for stations on our small block over summer, and had just leased the farm Gemma was managing. We were set. Had the plans, had the finance, had the will. We were going to kill the pig this year. Then it forgot to rain.

Golden Rules of Farming. - Part 1

 The longer I work the more I realise that Murphy was probably a farmer. These are all based on experiance and in no particular order.

#1. A windmill winch that worked perfectly fine in the shed fails to work after the 24km trip to the broken windmill.

#2. The same winch works perfectly again once back in the shed.

#3. Windmills that work all year break on New Years Eve in 45 C degree heat.

#4. Windmill ladders have been perfectly designed to use the least amount of steel possible (seriously how hard is to put a decent ladder on them?)

#5. A deaf sheepdog's hearing improves remarkabley when you pick up a waddi.

#6. Touching the end of a jigger is not the best way to see if it works. It is however the best way to make someone fall off a stock truck laughing.

#7. Beware the jiggers that keep a shot up the spout lest you brush your arm as you climb the stock truck. Then let go in pain.

The art of Oushi Kuso

No it's not some fancy new fandangled sushi restaurant owned by a swanky chef with his own TV show. But I wish it was. So far as I can tell it's an ancient Japanese form of communication whereby the communicator uses whatever means they are able to convince their audience they are telling an honest tale. Never let the truth get in the way of a good story. We all know or have seen someone adept in this art. The recreational fisherman with the one that got away. The mate at the pub telling us about the girl that didn't get away. The footy player being interviewed claiming the side they've just thumped by eleventy squillion points is a good team. Oushi Kuso. And perhaps most of us have been guilty of indulging in a bit of Oushi Kuso ourselves. Fortunately, many are clever enough to see Oushi Kuso for what it is, and no real harm is done. But when Oushi Kuso is presented as fact to an audience that knows no better, and has the power to act on what they believe to be true, then that is a cause for real concern.

Recently, Animals Australia released a new website. Animals Australia Unleashed. Unleashed? It's not like they were holding back before was it? Turns out they were. Unleashed is aimed squarely at the youth, and they have let the dogs of the chain in the finest display of Oushi Kuso I have ever seen.

Relief....for now.

A collective sigh of relief was heard yesterday throughout many rural communities as the two Bills for the banning of live export from Australia were voted down in an overwhelming majority. In fact, they didn't get a vote. Independant MP Andrew Wilke and Greens MP Adam Bandt cut lonely figures on the benches as the parliment shunned their Bills.


http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/breaking-news/mps-reject-live-trade-bans/story-e6frf7jx-1226117271072

But don't think it's over, not by a long shot. Already Animal Australia has released "new" footage from Turkey, although they can not confirm whether the animals shown are Australian or not.

Man's Best Friend.

It is often said a good sheepdog is worth three men. Or ten, if your neighbour is telling the story. Watching a working dog in action is a thing of beauty. I have often said myself the day I train dogs to open gates is the day my casual workforce halves. All they want to do is please you and ask for nothing more than a pat and a good feed.

Blue, in training. Notice his big feet?

There a times however, when we ourselves confuse the dogs. The paddock we normally bring the sheep through into the yards might be in crop, so we decide to go another way. Now the dog know for themselves which way is the best way, regardless of what you might think, and it can take some explaining and cajoling to convince the dog the route we've taken since he was a pup is not the route we take today. Or maybe we decide to leave any straggler sheep behind, usually a cardinal sin. This goes against all the rules according to the dog, and again, much cajoling is needed. And dogs can give the best dirty looks.

But on this particular day, nothing could have prepared me for what happened. And it only happened because the dog listened to my exact commands and followed accordingly.

When Push Comes to Shove.

Blogging. Tweeting. Facebook. Rallies. Protests. Letter writing. Things I used to associate with people who had too much time and not enough to do. Not something I would ever get involved in. Or so I thought.

Farmers Rally in Geraldton WA

It's amazing how your perspective on things change when something you believe in is threatened. When people, maybe even well-meaning people, decide that the best course of action is to take away the very thing you have worked hard to achieve. And in doing so have automatically condemned the last however many years of your working life as a failure. Some have even gone so far to label myself, my family and my colleagues as money hungry, cruel, inhumane and uncaring.

That hurts a little, especially coming from people who have never seen what I do. Or how I do it. The unknown is, if they did come and see what I do, would their opinions change? Somehow I doubt it.

We've all seen the footage. Cattle being shockingly mistreated in the Indonesian abattoirs. Sheep being dragged away and stuffed into car boots in the Middle East. I haven't heard a single person say any of that is acceptable. Yet we are all condemned for supporting the live trade.